First purchase, first hesitation. The catalogue is huge, the names are technical, and nobody wants to ask the people around them for advice. Here is what you need to know, in order.
- Start with what you know about yourself
- Don't overpay for your first one
- The three criteria that really matter
- Size: the classic trap
- Lubricant is not optional
- What happens after you order
Start with what you know about yourself
The question isn't "which is the best sex toy" but "what do I already like". If you know what works with your hands, choose a device that goes in the same direction rather than a spectacular object you won't know what to do with.
A clitoral stimulator, vibrating or pulsed-air. It's the most frequent first purchase, and the easiest to get used to: nothing goes inside, you place the device and adjust the intensity.
The smallest formats are covered in detail in vibrating eggs and mini vibrators, and the difference between the two technologies in pulsed air or vibration.
A pulsed-air stimulator: the tip is placed without direct contact.
A G-spot vibrator or a dildo. Their tip is often curved, which sets them apart from a straight vibrator.
Go for a small size to start with. If classic shapes don't appeal to you, see fantasy dildos.
The curved tip is the hallmark of so-called "G-spot" models.
An internal shaft and an external arm, joined together. On recent models, the two parts each have their own motor and are adjusted separately — which was not the case with the first generations.
The details are explained in two independent motors and in the rabbit guide.
The external arm stands out clearly from the main shaft.
Two families don't work like the previous ones, and deserve their own guide before any purchase: Ben Wa balls, which are worn inside and don't vibrate, and masturbators, where the same name covers two very different objects.
Don't overpay for your first one
A very good first device costs between €20 and €60. At that price, you get body-safe silicone, a reputable brand, a warranty and waterproofing.
High-end models at €150 bring extra finishes and settings, not a difference in kind. Keep that for when you know what you like.
The three criteria that really matter
The material
Insist on body-safe silicone, phthalate-free. This is non-negotiable: the material comes into contact with mucous membranes. Rule out unbranded objects with no indication of composition. The comparison of the five materials you will come across — and of those that cause problems — is in silicone, glass, metal: which material to choose.
Waterproofing
A 100% waterproof device can be cleaned under water in a few seconds. A non-waterproof device needs more care, and often ends up at the bottom of a drawer.
Noise
Nobody talks about it, yet it's decisive if you don't live alone. The subject has its own guide: quiet and discreet, choosing well when you don't live alone.
Size: the classic trap
For a first dildo, aim for less than 4 cm in diameter. Length matters much less than circumference, and the most common mistake is choosing too big.
Each of our product pages gives the model's exact dimensions, including diameter. Read them before ordering: it takes thirty seconds, and it avoids the most common mistake.
It's the most worthwhile purchase on the list, and the cheapest. A water-based lubricant is compatible with all materials, silicone included — which is not the case with a silicone-based lubricant.
The difference between the two, and which to choose for your device: water or silicone, which one to choose.
A water-based lubricant goes with all materials.
What happens after you order
Your parcel is 100% neutral: an anonymous box, no mention of the contents or the shop's name on the outside.
For hygiene reasons, intimate products that have been unsealed cannot be taken back. All the more reason to choose well the first time — and that's exactly what this guide is for.
Our suggestions for a first purchase
If you want a specific name: the Womanizer Pro ticks every box in this guide — pulsed air from the brand that developed the technology, 11 intensity levels, waterproof, 5-year warranty, at €56.95.
Our discovery kits bring together a toy, a second accessory and lubricant, from €29.95 — cheaper than the three items separately, and delivery is free with no minimum purchase. What exactly they contain, and which one to choose, is in our guide to the kits.
Otherwise, browse our selection For Her, For Him or For Two.
Any doubts before ordering? Write to us. No question is silly and nothing shocks us.
